Faith's Edge

Sorry I haven't blogged in so long. It isn't because there is nothing going on. Nothing could be farther from the truth. My life is actually so eventful right now, that I rarely have time to stop and process it all. Here are just smoe of the things that have been on my mind:

Football

Well, let's get this over with. The Steelers are in the crapper. At a pitiful 4-7, a couple of other teams would actually have to fall off the planet for us to make the playoffs. I haven't had to do this very often in my football fandom, but I now have to start thinking about the post-season and whic team I next want to jinx with my support. Right now, I'm leaning towards the Chargers. They have been on the verge of great for years and have, in my opinion, the best athlete in all of football (LaDainian Tomlinson) on their team. My second pick would be the Colts for the same reasons (only replace the word "athlete" with "quarterback" and "LaDainian Tomlinson" with "Peyton Manning".

Anyway, I'm real disappointed with the Steelers, and especially upset with the current ambiguity over Bill Cowher's future with the franchise. I hope his pride keeps him from leaving the team after such an abysmal season.

Next topic:

The "N" word

By now, everyone has heard the whole "Kramer" thing. it will certainly be awhile before I watch Seinfeld again. In any case, I ended up reading a ton of things about the situation because when it initially happened, Marnie was obsessed with it. What has been interesting has been the people who have come to Michael Richards' defense. What I have read most commonly is the argument that black people refer to themselves and each other as nigger (nigga...so different!) all the time. It was if people were saying "come on, let us use your secret password without any thought of the contextual baggage that comes along with it. Please!!!" While I think that response idiotic, I do have to say that from a logical standpoint, it does hold water. I personally hate the word, whether it is used by a black person or a white person. It carries with it the connotation of degradation. it is a word that communicates that some one is beneath another. I think that many african americans argue that we have somehow "reclaimed" the word, but it was never ours to begin with. The fact of the matter is that we keep it in circulation. In recent decades we have made the distinction between a nigger and a respectable black person. I recently read an article (in Esquire magazine, a topic for later) about the difference between "ascendent modern blacks" and niggers. The writers thesis was pretty much that the ascendent blacks should leave the niggers behind in our dust (the fact that I associate myself with the ascendents further highlights the problem). I think that is harmful thinking, and though the author never claimed any his arguments based on any particular religious thought, I think his thinking is also completley contrary to most moral standards and especially biblical standards of justice. I don't think we in this country can afford to further alienate those we deem to be beneath us for any reason. We either all succeed together (definition of "success" pending) or none of us succeed at all.

In conclusion: no, white people, it is not okay to use the "n" word. and black people, lead by example and don't use it either.

next topic:

My trip to Pittsburgh

For some reason right now, Pittsburgh is having better weather than Northern California. 'm sure it won't last, but it made coming back to Cali, a little harder. Ihate being a visitor in my home town. I went back on a very short trip from Tuesday night to Thursday afternoon. First my flight.

So my plane was about a half hour late taking off from the run way because of a leaky faucet. Yeah, okay. So once we are in the air, a guy a few rows in front of me starts to have some kind of seizure. The flight attendents, who obviously had no idea what to do, got on the PA and asked if there were any doctors or nurse on the plane. Fortunately, the flight attendent was swarmed by about two doctors and maybe three nurses; one an er nurse, pretty much took the situation over. I was amazed by the outpoouring of concern for the guy. It was an annoying distraction. They had to reroute us to Salt Lake City and pretty much everyone, self included, missed their connecting flights out of Atlanta. Still, no one grumbled or bitched. People seemed genuinely concerned for the health of the guy having the seizure who seemed to have had a blood sugar issue. people did get alittle antsy when when we were delayed again in Utah for yet another mechanical issue. And then we were forced to watch "My Super Ex-Girlfriend" which was surprisingly mediocre.

Anyway, I went to Pgh to handle Presbytery stuff. I am now officially an inquirer (if I'm an inquirer now, what the "bleep" have I been doing out here for 2 and a half years?!) and I also got permission to take the ordination exams in january. Kinda like getting permission to have paper cuts applied to every sensitive part of your body. That's where my excitement level was. In any case, the Presbytery executive did apologize for my process being as horrendous as it has been. it was nice to hear.

Beside doing Presby stuff, I also checked into a couple of possible job opportunities for post-seminary. One is at the Pittsburgh Project. if you haven't heard me talk about the Pittsburgh Project, then you haven't heard me talk in the past seven years. I love the place. I love what it is about. I love the people, many of whom feel more to me like family than my actual family (one actually is family). I love what God is doing there. It is weird to be offered the job I thought I always wanted. it's not that I don't want it now. It's just...well, how many people actually get offered the job they have always wanted? A few years ago, I would have been out of my mind with excitement. Now...I'm hesitant.

Some of the hesitation is knowing that there might be other things out there for me. It is exciting, but it putting me in this cautious mode of not wanting to make the wrong choice about my and my family's future. Still, even with the hesitation, I am humbled and flattered about what is happening in my life right now. It helps me understand grace. I certainly don't deserve the good things that are happening right now.

One more thing about my trip. My nephew James is the coolest human being alive! He will be three in December. He's awesome! He makes me laugh. He is fun to play with. He makes me think about what it would be like to have a son...

next topic:

The Sermon Series

so I recently finished a three part sermon series at my internship church. I felt like it went well. The first sermon was on forgiveness, the second on racial reconciliation, the third was on the church in society. It was well received. The hard thing about preaching is that you (well, I at least) never feel like I have said all I want to say on a subject. I suppose if I want to do that, I should write books instead of preaching. What has been cool is that we have set up message boards to discuss my sermon topics and people's feedback has helped my own thoughts to develop more fully. I really appreciate that. I hate the "talking head" nature of preaching. I like for their to be feedbak at least, discussion at best. As preachers, I think we need to be called out on our bullshit(which, hopefully, is minimal). I also think people need the opportunity to articulate what they think and feel. I have grown considerably from the insights that people have shared with me from my sermons.

One of the things that draws me to non-profit work (like the Project) over church work is how draining the preaching process is for me. I never sleep the night before I preach. Don't get me wrong, I love to preach and I think I'm pretty good at it. But I'm an introvert by nature and preaching drains the life right out of me. I always want to curl up into a ball afterwards. Fortunately, so far I have not.

final topic:

Men's Magazines

Okay, so as I mentioned above, I read an article in Esquire magazine. That is because I receive Esquire magazine. At the moment, I get both Esquire and Men's Health. I don't know why, but right now I am becoming a little addicted to men's magazines. I even bought a copy of GQ in Atlanta to read for the flight back to Oakland. It was the men of the year one with Jay-Z on the cover. I was trying to find out if GQ was better than Esquire. Turns out it is not. It is, in fact, the poor man's Esquire, "poor" being a rather realtive term in this scenario.

A little bit of self analysis: for most of my life I have not cared too much about how I look. I certainly didn't care about fashion at all. As I've gotten older, two very important realizations have occurred: 1) with a little effort, I'm a pretty good looking guy and 2) appearances say alot about you. Sometimes you feel better when you look good. People respond to you differently when you are well put together. I'm not saying that's the way things should be. It is the way things are. When I think about "professional" Derrick, I think about a guy who is both amiable and respectable. I think that should be communicated both in my demeanor and in my appearance. Now does that mean that I would spend $150 on a shirt? Hell no! I would however accept a $150 shirt as a gift! (my b-day is January 12th). You don't have to spend alot of money to look good. I think it is just a matter of dressing your age and dressing your goals.

Not that men's magazine's only tell you about clothing. They also tell you about booze and gadgets, two things I also have an appreciation for. Again, probably never going to buy a 150 dollar bottle of whiskey, but January 12th is right around the corner. Besides booze and gadgets, men's magazines tell you how to be successful and attractive to the ladies. These are important things, folks! They tell you stories of guys who have already attained the level of manness that the rest of us simply dream of. They come with recipes for big slabs of meat (usually cooked in booze). They tell you what kinds of cigars you should be smoking (none, if you're me). Men's magazines give us the theology of metrosexuality.

...And with that, I should stop writing.