Faith's Edge

Hey all,

My blog will be on hiatus for an indefinite length of time. I'm not sure what my internet access will be like at my place in Portland. I will get back to this as soon as I possibly can.

Peace!

Postmodern Negro has by far the most interesting take on this whole DaVinci Code debacle that I have read. Check it out!

"I remember when you used to blog," my wife said to me last night. It's amazing how she gets in my head.

Anyway, there's tons to write about. I can't believe this time next week I'll be going to Portland. Weird! I'm pretty excited as I still have no idea what to expect from my internship. I'm also incredibly nervous as I have no idea what to expect from my internship. I'm also not thrilled about the idea of spending so much time away from my wife. Introvert that I am, I do get lonely. Hopefully June will go by quickly...but not too quickly.

Having finished my fourth of six semesters of seminary is a weird feeling. Honestly, I'm quite ready to be done. I realized this weekend that I wasn't very engaged in my coursework this past semester. I was doing alot for the "community life" on campus, but to be honest, I was pretty bored with classes. I remember how stressed, engaged, and challenged I was by the first year. This semester, I was none of those things. Marnie told me on Friday that I'm like a duck. Of course, I had no clue what she was talking about. She explained that a duck looks like it is gliding effortlessly across the water, but in actuality, it is working its little duck feet under the surface. That's me, from her perspective. I took it as a compliment.

A handful of my friends graduated this weekend. What's weird is that I don't have that "it's the last time I'll ever see you again" feeling that I sometimes get at graduations. The ministry world is a relatively small one and I find it hard to believe that I won't be crossing paths with many of the '06 SFTS grads in the future. Still, I will miss people. Some very much. The campus will feel very different next year.

These are some pictures of the house where I'll be living this summer. it will nice to live in a house again. Of course, coming back to Hunter will be hard. It will probably just make me more antsy to get out of here. But back to the house. I think it is pretty sweet! The generosity of the folks in Portland has already been quite overwhelming. Maybe that's just how Portland folk are. The house makes me anxious to have a house of my own. I told Marnie the other day how excited I would be to decorate a house. I think she was strangely warmed by the thought.

We've also been having lots of baby talk around here. A couple of weekends ago we were surrounded by babies. I'm not freaked by the idea of having kids like I used to be. It just feels like its that time. Everyone tells me I'm never actually going to be ready for parenthood, so why get all bent out of shape about it.

I feel like I had other stuff to write about...hmmm...oh well, it's gone. I'm gonna go back to enjoying my week of rest. More later.

This turned out to not be a very good week. We've had all kinds of car issues. Our transmission was starting to go a couple of weeks ago. On Monday, as Marnie was leaving for work, she discovered that the car would not go into gear. Before it was only not going into second. Now it wasn't going into any gear. So we had to get a new clutch and a new transmission. That was well over two grand. For those of you that don't know, neither Marnie or I is independently wealthy. In fact, we're not dependently wealthy. Two grand (plus) hurts. Today Marnie went to the car and discovered that our windshield had been cracked. (Sigh) Oh, I also spent $40 this week filling the gas tank. I can't wait until we get to a point where we're not so dependent on cars. If that ever happens.

Marnie's had some rough stuff going on at her school. Kids start to check out when the weather gets nice. Plus the kids that Marnie works with just have issue to begin with or else they wouldn't be the kids Marnie works with. It doesn't help that school administrators and teachers are so interested in "educating" that they don't care about kids as human beings. It's been draining on her.

I spent most of this week working on a paper for environmental ethics. I worked collaboratively on it with one of my friends in the class. That complicated things. Both of us are aware that I'm a much better writer than he is. In some ways it may have been easier to write the paper alone, however, I'm glad I didn't. The paper turned out very well and our presentation of it today was alot more fun because we did it together. The extra work that may have been created was worth it.

And then there was the insomnia. I don't sleep well when I have stress. This semester has actually been a fairly good one for me sleepwise, but this week was rough. Wednesday night/Thursday morning I woke up at 2am. Despite two failed attempts, I couldn't get back to sleep. So Iwas practically awake yesterday from 2 am to 11 pm.

A friend of mine (who I have blogged about before) had a demon he thought he had exorcised return last night. I really don't know how to be a better friend to him.

We had a brown out that made me miss Scrubs and nearly blew up our tv.

...

Counter point:

This was actually a pretty good week. Marnie and I have had some car issues, but fortunately we've had the means to take care of them. Despite lots of stress and little sleep, I managed to finish what I think was a damn good paper and I did a fairly kickass presentation with one of my best friends.

I ordered very pretty flowers for my mom for Mother's day. Since I've moved out here, my mom has gotten used to getting very pretty and exotic looking flowers from Marnie and I. We're getting a reputation.

Mark Yaconelli is speaking on youth spirituality this evening. I think that may be an interesting discussion and may help Marnie with some ideas on some of the challenges she's had in the school lately. Even if it doesn't it will be fun to be around Mark Yaconelli. I really appreciated his father's ministry. He is greatly missed by many.

The Red Hot Chili Peppers released a new album this week. I've heard alittle of it and I love what I've heard so far. They are without a doubt one of my all time favorite bands. Flea rules!

I got through being awake for 21 hours without doing or saying anything that was incredibly ridiculous!

I'm blessed to have friends that share their challenges with me.

The brown out built a little community on my floor. That was surprising and fun!

I didn't miss the season finale of Scrubs (its next week), our tv is fine, I did get to see most of the season finale of Gilmore Girls (which sucked!), and all of the season finales of The Office, and My Name is Earl (those two were descent).

One more week and I'll be done with my fourth semester of seminary! And only one year to go!
...

I've lived most of this week with the counter point perspective on things. I praise God for that.

I can't believe this ridiculous looking movie is getting so much hype. It was originally titled something like "Pacific 121". Perhaps to keep it from being confused with more serious fare like "United 93", they changed the name to "Snakes on a Plane". The title was, allegedly, the selling point for Samuel L. Jackson. That makes me lose a little respect for him. Apparently after all the buzz started, the producers started doing additional shooting to make the film longer and to get an "R" rating. It is rumored that we will now be graced with the epic line from Mr. Jackson, "Get these muthafuckin' snakes off my muthafuckin' plane!"

Alas, poor cinema, I knew you well...

No, not a lesbian...though that would certainly make a more interesting post. The L word that I'm thinking of is "liberal". I've been fighting my slow transformation into one since I got here, but I'm starting to realize that I'm fighting a losing battle. Its sad that liberal has become such a bad word in our culture. Its sad that I feel that I need to apologize for becoming more liberal, even though by local standards I'm probably still a moderate (maybe even a little conservative).

The thing is I can't fight what I'm being exposed to here because for the most part I agree with it. If nothing else I have become a better thinker here at SFTS. I think more critically about the world around me. I think more critically about the church and about the Bible. All of this has left me with a full picture of God, not a smaller one as I had feared. Jesus has gotten bigger for me, not smaller.

I've been thinking about this subject this week because of how much my thinking has changed on the issue of homosexuality. in alot of ways I have chosen to be an ally of my gay and lesbian brothers and sisters on campus, a decision that will follow me throughout my life. At least I hope it does. I've also thought about my growing liberalness in terms of my environmental ethics class. I had been fighting the idea of changing what I eat for environmental (and ethical) reasons. The sad thing is that everything I have been learning in that class was summed up in this months issue of Sojourners and all of a sudden it made a lot more sense.

Politically, I'm registered as an independent, though I've mostly voted democratic since I've been old enough to vote (the past five years). I've alwasy liked to think of myself as a moderate. I'm just not sure if the world can afford to have moderates in it these days. Any time you stand up for anything, you get a label. Though by the Bay Area's standards I might be a moderate, when I move home, I most certainly will be considered a liberal. Possibly a flaming liberal. I think that's a label I need to become more comfortable with. While part of me would love to stay middle of the road, I just don't think things get done that way.

So, I'm a liberal. If caring about the poor, the environment, living ethically, and having open theology means I'm a liberal than so be it. (sigh)

Time to go plug in my electric car...

Sorry for the blog hiatus. It's not that I haven't had time to write or that I haven't had anything to write about. I, in fact, have no excuse. So there...

I had a reminder today that a big part of the Christian life, actually the best part in my humble opinion, is sharing that life with others. It is a privilege to share in joys and it is equally a privilege to share in sorrows. The past week it has been very easy for me to share my joy. God is obviously working through alot of the things that are going on around me. Our trip to Portland last week was an immense joy. The pastors I met were incredible people and several were recent SFTS grads, which gives me some hope. We've been blessed by their willingness to help us in any way they can, and they have gone above and beyond in showing us love. It has been awesome to watch God work in this circumstance. Within a month, they found someone who was willing to donate my entire stipend for the summer, someone else who was willing to pay for our flight, they have found me a car (an '89 celebrity, but its mine while it runs which should hopefully get me through to the end of seminary), they've found us a house to live in for free during the summer... it has been incredible! I'm so excited for this opportunity!

on the other end of the spectrum, there are some people in my life who are really struggling and it is equally a privilege to share in that. I found out this morning about some health issues that the seminary's professor of music has been wrestling with. I think the world of Dan and it hurts me to see him struggling. He was really emotional after chapel today. I was both heartbroken and honored to be in his presence in the midst of his trial.

I also found out that two very dear friends/colleagues from the Pittsburgh Project, lost their house to a fire this weekend. These two incredible people, who love God very passionately have suffered alot in the past three years. I hate to see them suffer and it does make me ask some serious theodicy questions. I can't help but wonder where God is in their suffering and I'm often unsatisfied with the answers I come up with. I'm left with the equally unsettling question of why it is we so quickly identify good things as coming from God and bad things as some mysterious force of chance or coincidence.

At any rate, I'm content to live with the fact there is alot I don't get and that the best I can do in any situation is to be a good friend, husband, brother, son, uncle, classmate, etc... to whomever I come in contact with and be thankful that I get to share my life with them and they with me. That's a hard enough challenge for now.