Faith's Edge

Here's another interesting article we can file in the 'Christianity gone Wild' column. It is primarily about an evangelical youth culture that is forming. There is one particularly interesting quote; something to the effect that in a complicated (or complex) world that people yearn for the literal. Is that true?

This is a really good article on the "prosperity Gospel" that a friend of mine found in Time Magazine. I was raised in a prosperity Gospel church and this all rings pretty true. It is also interesting to see folks like Rick Warren giving a counterpoint to this theology.

The Pittsburgh Steelers are 1-1.

After a pretty exciting season opening victory against the Dolphins, the Steelers got shut out (that's so painful to type) against the Jacksonville Jaguars. No disrespect to the Jags, they played great and look like a Super Bowl caliber team right now, but the Steelers were awful. Roethlisberger came in fifteen days after his appendectomy and apparently with a temperature of 104 degrees. Something tells me he shouldn't have been playing football Monday. They also seemed to have determined by mid-third quarter that they weren't going to even try to run the ball anymore. I think that was a mistake. I could go on and on...

I've always been a big fan of the Steelers and of football in general(you almost have to be, living in Pittsburgh). Something changed when I came to seminary. I became really invested in the Steelers. Monday night's loss hurt. Fortunately, I haven't had to see the Steelers lose much since I got here, but when I do see it, it sucks! I think since I've moved out here, the Steelers are a connection to home. My fanaticism seems to be proportionate to my homesickness. I've been missing home a little more than usual the past couple of weeks, which I think adds to the sting. Sorry for justifying my insanity, but it makes me feel better. They'll do better against the Bengals this week.

Anyway, a couple of folks have stuff about ordination on their blogs right now (BJ and Nick). I haven't responded to either of their posts. They come at the process from seemingly opposite end of the spectrums. I've decided to steer clear of the subject for now. My process has been terrible so far. I think that clouds my judgment about how I really feel about ordination. Right now, I'm not sure what I feel about it. I respect alot of people who have gone through the process. I respect alot of people who are in the process right now. It seems unfair to bash the process anymore than I already have in the past and so I'm not going to talk about it anymore. I need to clear my head and get some distance. And that's all I have to say about that...for now.

Man, why can't we Pittsburghers just be normal and do church as usual? Check this article out!

"Authenticity" is one of those values of postmoderns and the emerging church that seems to go underdefined. I guess we assume we can tell when something is authentic. In church on Sunday we talked about prayer being authentic communication with God. We talk about worship being authentic. We talk about living authentic lives. What does it mean for me to be authentic?

Bill Cosby told a joke in the classic standup routine Bill Cosby:Himself. A man to whom he was speaking said "I drink because alcohol enhance your personality" Bill's response is "Yeah, but what if you're an asshole?"

That was mostly antecdotal. My point, can being "authentic" conflict with being "Christ-like"?

I think the answer is "no". (see, you thought I was going to be anti-authenticity)

Being authentic, as I understand it, means being what God created you to be. This is something unique for all of us. I don't want to drag the worship conversation out again (God knows, 20 comments later that thing was beat to death!) but I think one of the major issues with worship is that we are made to conform to modes of worship that are inauthentic to how we would truly express our gratitude to God. One of the things I really loved about my church in Pittsburgh was that we had stations set up during the worship service with different means of reflection at each station. Some of us are old school and get alot from sitting in chair or pew and listening to a sermon. But some of us need to get up when we hear smoething that really touches our soul and journal, or draw, or paint, or pray, or etc... I personally am not much of an in-worship doodler, but I have tons of respect for folks who are and see it as a part of their worship of God.

Prayer is another thing. Prayer throughout the Bible is a deeply personal and unique thing. Sure, there is always a place for the "Dear God, thanks for all the stuff ya' do" kinds of prayers, but there also needs to be space made for "WTF, God?!" prayers. (yes, that is one I have said. This week in fact.)

A great example for authenticity is Laryn Hill's Unplugged album. If you haven't heard this cd, please let me know and I will make it my personal mission to play it for you. Intermixed with the music, which is this amazing fusion of hip hop and folk music, are these interludes which play out like mini-sermons about her spiritual journey. She talks alot about breaking out of religious conformity and finding her own unique expression of worship. This expression, as I mentioned, manifests itself in a fantasticly original rapper/singer-songwriter hybrid style of music. It is authentic to who she was in that place and time and expressed her theology, her praise, and her heartache. There's not alot of hip hop folk singers in the world and by taking a risk and being herself (fusing her passions) Laryn Hill created smoething brilliant and, yes, authentic.

Does the church let us take risks? Does it let us be ourselves? Does it allow for new expressions of who God is in our lives and in the world? We pay some amount of lip service to authenticity, but I wonder how many of us are willing to take the risk of being truly authentic. It might result in something that people have never seen before. Some won't like it. But authenticity is worth the risk. It's worth it to be who God made you to be.

I have been asked the question of why I am in seminary several times in several different ways over the last couple of weeks. A couple of the times, I was asking myself, but that counts too. Now, as I have finished my first week of my final year here, I think it might be a good time to revisit this question.

let's go back a little bit. After about a year of working at the Pittsburgh Project (TPP- for those in the know), I started feeling called to making ministry a bigger part of my life. tat actually threw me into a tailspin. Being a good dreamer of the American dream, I have understood education as my logical launchpad into whatever field I might go into. I was at the time studying film and thought that there was no way I could be glorifying God by studying film (it took me a while to get over that mindset). Anyway, that's when I first started thinking about seminary.

My understanding of seminary at the time was that it was the place where I would learn how to do ministry better. In other words, I was expecting to learn orthopraxis here. A few years passed between my original revealtion and the beginning of my application process. I had to get out of my tailspin and finish my undergrad. During that time, I became associated with several folks who planted churches. I really enjoyed learning from them, though I didn't always like what they were doing. Still, it was something I could see myself doing. At the time I was also still working at TPP. I point that out because the whole time I was thinking about seminary and learning how to do ministry better, I was actually doing ministry. I find that interesting.

Anyway, I ended up at SFTS for several reasons. I figured it was the only time that Marnie and I would live outside of Pittsburgh. I figured I would get a more diverse view on the Bible then I would get from Pittsburgh Seminary (I wanted to understand what it meant when people said a place was "liberal" in their theology...I get it now) I came here because, ironically, the financial aid worked out for SFTS better than PTS (the first year anyway, and we never really factored in cost of living...ugh!) In coming to SFTS to learn about ministry, I turned down a couple of great opportunities to continue doing ministry.

Well anyway, I have been thinking about all of this for a couple of reasons. This week seemed to be one where I suffered the consequences of moving 3, 000 miles away. My presbytery continues to give me crap and I think I'm done with them. I don't know what that's going to mean for my future, but I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I've been going through the ordination process is for a sense of job security and, frankly, that isn't a good enough reason anymore. I care more about being back in Pittsburgh then I do about being Presbyterian (which I barely am anyway), so who knows what will be there for me after I finish school, but at this point i am tired of the aggrevation. It's not worth it to me. The second thing was a family crisis. There has been a skeleton in my familial closet for over twenty years now that occasionally falls out and wreaks havoc. This week it fell all the way out of the closet and has brought a lot of pain to alot of people that I love. It has been incredibly heartbreaking and I have felt very helpless being out here. It has made me second guess, not so much going to seminary, but coming all the way out here. I know some good has come out of it. I've met great people and learned a ton about myself, but I've had the kind of week where I am questioning if it has all been worth it.

Sorry this is such a downer, but the second half of my week was really, really hard. If you think about it, keep my family in prayer and keep Marnie and I in prayer as we start dealing with the "what's next?" questions.

My friend BJ has his first podcast online and you can check it out here. In case I haven't mentioned this before, and I know I have, BJ is the lead pastor of the Open Door, a missional church on the East End of Pittsburgh. While some of the podcast is a plug for an upcoming event, he has alot of good things to say about rethinking the church and its mission. Of paritcular interest to me is the piece where he discusses Christology informing missiology and missiology informing ecclesiology. Confused? Give it a listen.