Faith's Edge

I realize that this whole thing has gone down in relatively no time at all, especially for something Presbyterian, but it feels like I've been talking about going to Portland for a long time. Well I'm here now. I've been here since Wednesday. It is already going super fast. I'm going to try to get back to my lenten pace of blogging, because my mind has been going a mile a minute (60/mph) since I got here. I'm going to do this post in sections.

I. Adjustment

So my biggest adjustment, of course, is being without my best friend. I've talked to Marnie pretty much twice a day on the phone since I touched down, but I hate talking on the phone. Of course I'll do it for her. As some of you know, Marnie and I were really good friends before we got married. My only advise to any single person would be to marry a friend. Alot of other things can come and go, but friendship is sustaining. I really miss her company. I will hopefully see her this weekend.

A much smaller, but possibly more frustrating adjustment is having to use dial-up again. What is this the stone age?! Hopefully, I'll get that rectified soon.

One pretty awesome adjustment is living in a house. It's a cool little place. Cozy might be an adequate descriptor. The bathroom is on a different floor than the bedroom and having a bladder like an 80 yr. old, that's kinda frustrating, but other than that, I love being in a house. Going back to Hunter is going to suck!

So the other major adjustment, and my segue point, is the adjustment from "student" to "intern". Honestly, I've been waiting for this since I got here, but it is weird. For all intents and purposes, people look at me and treat me like a minister. That is cool and scary and humbling and exciting all at once! An example: for one of the churches I will work with I will be on call to provide pastoral care while the pastor is on vacation. I initially thought that this group of sixty, seventy (maybe eighty?) year old white folks isn't going to want this 26 year old black guy to come visit them if they have a "spiritual" need. I was shocked by how warmly the church reacted when the pastor announced that I would be available for those duties. As Marnie explained to me, they se me as clergy (or at least someone with the aspiration of ...clerginess?). Its a huge shift. (BTW: I don't know if you've noticed but I use "its" and "it's" interchangeably. That's something I don't think I ever learned adequately and don't particularly care about anymore)

II. The Internship

So I'm working for about seven small (membership under 125) Presbyterian churches in South East Portland. They are "urban" but not "inner city". These churches are, for the most part, in decline. While I am definitely here to learn and observe, I'm also here to generate ideas that might help these churches grow and reach their communities more. These churches are part of an experiment (that's really the best way to describe it) called the Presbyterian Urban Network (PUN...ha, ha!). PUN has only really "existed" (I put that in quotes because there is still some ambiguity to PUN's existence) since November. Igot the feeling from a conference I attended on Saturday that everyone in the Presbytery of the Cascades is thrilled about PUN. C'est la vie.

Speaking of the conference, I went to this thing sponsered by the transforming congregations task force of the Pres. of the Cascades. It was boring as hell! Actually the information was interesting, but it was all very vague and I didn't hear them address practical steps to transforming the churches. Instead they talked about models of culture and what not. They talked about change in very vague and inoffensive terms when I think these churches need to hear things in specific and possibly offensive terms. What do I know?

The churches themselves are interesting to me. I heard all of this talk coming up about how liberal Portland was/is. Its true. You can tell by driving around what the values of the culture are. The churches, the ones that I've seen so far, look nothing like the neighborhoods. (Hmmm...I wonder if that has anything to do with the decline?) I was surprised by how "conservative" alot of the language I heard in these churches was. Some of this might just be adjusting from the PC gobbelty guk we use at SFTS, but it was a little bit of a shock. (I am so moderate, see I insulted everyone!)

III. Who are my neighbors?

Okay, one more section. This is actually a story. So when I moved in my landlady told me that my next door neighbors were a couple in their twenties who were bi-lingual teachers. Excellent! Going into this weekend I hadn't met them yet. Friday night/Saturday morning I heard alot of noise coming from next door. People hangin out noise: talking, laughing, music, etc... I had to get up early that morning so it didn't really bother me (I heard them around 4 and I was waking up at 6, no big woop). The next night, I went to bed later and was waking up later. Around three I hear them again. This time I'm thinking, I need to get back to sleep and I can't becaus ethey're being loud. I considered my options: I could go out and yell at them, I could call the cops, or I could go introduce myself. After a brief prayer ("Okay, God, what should I do?") I put on my sweatshirt and jeans and went outside. The woman I later found out was my neighbor asked if they were being too loud. Before I could answer another one of them asked if I wanted a beer, a question I rarely say no to. Long story short (ish), I stayed out with my neighbors and their five freinds for about an hour having a couple of beers and talking. Funny thing is, we ended up spending most of the time talking about what I'm doing this summer and, by natural consequence, talking about religion. It was a really awesome experience. Several of them are self-described atheist, though they admit to have a spiritual side (typical postmoderns!). I think they were really shocked to talk to a Christian like me, you know, one who will have a beer at 3:30 when they have to be at church at 10! Seriously though, I think they were impacted that I'm not a conservative, republican, Bible-thumper who was going to judge them. I explained to them what my faith meant to me. One of them even said, "Now I would love to hear a sermon from you". I told them he would have about seven opportunities this summer. We'll see if anything comes of that, but I was priviliged to have that interaction. To share my faith in those kinds of context really is my ultimate goal. It was casual, open, non-judgmental (on either side, they certainly had plenty of reason/opportunity to judge me), and respectful. They seemed genuinely grateful that I would share my beliefs with them. They told me that since my neighbors are teachers that they are out there whenever they don't have school the next day and gave me an open invitation to join them. That was cool!

So here's the challenge: I can manuever in the gray haired Presbyterian world pretty well. I can also manuever in the twenty-something "atheist" world fairly well. How do I bridge those gaps? Is it a bridge worth building if the churches make the twenty somethings conform to their standard? Hard questions. Important questions. Keep me in your prayers.

Its great to be doing ministry again!